Emotional control buckets

In a recent coaching session, I had the opportunity to vent about absolutely everything that had bugged me over the last few weeks.

Now anyone reading this who knows me, will probably think "yes she'd have no trouble finding things to moan about". You're wrong though. Honestly, the first three or four took me about 10 minutes to detail - the next 12 (yes 12) gripes took less than five minutes.

So with all the moans shortened to brief keywords, I was then tasked with putting these "moans" into one of three categories:

1. I had no control over this matter
2. I had some control over this matter
3. I had total control over this matter

Now the point of the exercise is not to really dwell on the issue of control, but to ascertain what you could or couldn't influence so that you can funnel your energies more appropriately. Stop stressing over the things you can not control and don't waste any more energy or time on them. Instead focus your efforts into getting some control back on the matters you can influence, and do something about it.

What was interesting in my case here was that in the main there was little I had control over. So why had I stored up so much negativity, when in essence it was all pointless? Almost moaning for the sake of moaning...!! I'd have been better off looking at the other "matters" and doing something about these instead.

This week, I'm taking some of the control back over the issues I can influence and will be refocusing my energies in a more positive, and dare I say productive way! Wish me luck - it's training part of the brain to react with less emotion... so this may take some time!!

"The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts." Charles Robert Darwin.

One day in and I've faced one issue that had bugged me. I still can't control the outcome but I've had my say on the matter and that in itself felt gave me back a little control. Does anyone have any other tips for handling any emotional inbursts - I'd say outbursts but for me I internalise everything and often the outward display falls in the form of frustration tears (oh and the odd swear word!!)